Adele Sucks…a lyrical analysis.

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I hate Adele.  I hate her music, her style, the way she phrases her lyrics and her voice.  I guess overweight, neo-soul, early 20 something British chicks, whining incessantly about the deep hurt caused by the boatload of “experience” surrounding their past relationships just doesn’t do it for me.

Because I’m hateful and I don’t really have anything else to do, I’m going to break down the half-retarded lyrics of an Adele song I heard on the radio this week called “Rumour Has It.”  I mean, the title alone is enough to send me over a cliff…did we win the revolutionary war so that silly British pseudo pop stars can spell their song titles with a British touch????  But I digress.  And so, without further ado….

*All lyrics in Italics.

Rumour Has It by Adele

She, she ain’t real

She’s not real?!?!?  Is she an alien?  A figment of my imagination?  That’s probably not what you mean.  Fat chicks always want to say that girls who look better than them aren’t “real.”  Well, Adele, if you are the definition of a “real” woman, then I’ll take an unreal woman any day of the week.

She ain’t gon’ be able to love you like I will

A lot of my buddies who mess around with larger ladies say they can get down pretty well.  But just because someone has low self-esteem and is willing to do anything in bed doesn’t mean that they’re better.  I’m certainly not lowering my standards and good for whomever you wrote this song to for regaining his.

And another thing!  “She ain’t gon’,” is not a phrase you’re allowed to say, Adele.  You’re a British woman from the suburbs of London, not a legit soul singer from Memphis.  Get the fuck over yourself and get your own identity, Aretha Franklin, Etta James, Gladys Knight and the like pretty much own the soul genre.  Find your own shit.

She is a stranger

You and I have history or don’t you remember?

So, this guy was willing to leave you for a complete stranger?  Sounds like you’re tons of fun (pun intended) to be around.  I’ve dated some real crappy ladies, and even then I’ve never left one of them for a complete stranger.

Sure, she’s got it all.  But Baby is that what you really want?

This has to be one of the dumbest lyrics I’ve ever seen in my life.  Logically, it is simply retarded.  If she has it all, defined by Webster’s as “the whole of, every, or the greatest possible,” then by definition, then what else could the guy possibly want???  Maybe your man left you because you’re stupid.  Did you ever think about that?

Bless your soul, you got your head in the clouds

After surviving dating you, I’d say the guy has his head much further than the clouds; he probably has his head in heaven… a wonderful place free of spiteful ex-girlfriends who sing half-cocked, poorly written pop songs about their former boyfriends.

She made a fool out of you and, boy, she’s brining you down

Who you calling boy?

She made your heart melt but you’re cold to the core

I don’t know if the melting point of a heart is a woman who has it all, but I’m pretty sure it would take intense heat, not a perfect lady.  Plus, I would be willing to bet that if my heart was so hot that it melted that the rest of me would be at a pretty high temperature as well.  This just makes no sense.

Now rumour has it, she ain’t got your love anymore

So this absolutely perfect, complete stranger who just melted the guy’s heart doesn’t have his love anymore?  Well that’s ok Adele, because I can guess that you never will either and no amount of shitty music will change that fact.

Rumor has it x 794,000 times

This chorus never seems to end.

She is half your age.  But I’m guessing that’s the reason that you’ve stayed

First of all, that’s a pretty terrible guess, as you’ve already stated that she has it all.  But even so, who cares if she’s half my age, so long as he’s 36 and half his age is legal, because you know, it’d be creepy and illegal otherwise.

I heard you been missing me

Not likely.  I bet his grocery bill has been cut in half.

You’ve been telling people things you shouldn’t be.

Metallica told people about things that shouldn’t be and they are the most successful heavy metal band ever.  God forbid the guy tries to follow in those footsteps instead of being known for inspiring the music on your awful album.

Like when we creep out, she ain’t around

I’m from Atlanta and know a lot of slang, but I have no idea what Adele is talking about here.

Haven’t you heard the rumours?

Nah, “English Rose” was always my favorite Fleetwood Mac album.

Bless your soul, you got your head in the clouds

You made a fool out of me and, boy, I’m bringing you down

Have you listened to your drama filled, diahrea inducing music?  Have you ever looked in a mirror?  Have you ever heard yourself talk, with that shrill, awful British accent?  I don’t think he’s the one making a fool out of you.

You made my heart melt, yet I’m cold to the core

Damn it Adele, we’ve already talked about this.

But rumour has it I’m the one you’re leaving her for

So, after you shit all over this guy, criticize his choice of lover and write a ton of music about him, you listen to some rumor saying he’s going to go back to you?

Rumor has it x 1,654,123 times

I mean really.  I hate this chorus so much.  Its not even catchy, just long, repetitive and enraging.

All of these words whispered in my ear

Tell a story that I cannot bear to hear

I would imagine you don’t like hearing the truth about yourself very much.

Just cause I said it, don’t mean that I meant it

Just cause you heard it

So, you’re a liar on top of everything else?  That figures.  I don’t know about all of you, but when someone tells me something, I pretty much take them for their word.  At least we cleared this up.

Rumour has it x infinity times

I don’t know how long this song is, but it feels like nine hours.

But rumour has it he’s the one I’m leaving you for

Way to end the song with a lyric that makes no sense.  You’re not even together!  How can you leave him if he’s not even with you?  You can’t make the illogical jump from hearing a rumor that he’s going to leave his perfect woman to get back together with you, to saying you’re going to leave him for another man.  I guess in your cellulite infused brain it all makes sense.

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About Left Hook from Right Field

The extraordinary everyman's guide to what makes my world tick.
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85 Responses to Adele Sucks…a lyrical analysis.

  1. Nallely says:

    Hey u don’t have good taste in music then what’s wrong with u r u transtormado de la caveza she is probably more talented and beautiful than u!!! P.s transtorndo de la caveza means out of your mind in Spanish

    • Jane says:

      Well I’m not out of my mind and I agree…..This song sucks so bad that only lame brained people would even listen to it. Some day I hope you pull your head out of your ass, and then you’ll be surprised to hear a very loud POP!

    • nigger says:

      cabeza* and why you had to write in spanish
      2. his opinion if you don’t like it then gtfo

    • Danny says:

      Its cabeza not caveza dumb ass… you failed hard trying to look like a smartass lol, and it’s trastornado not transtormado, dont try to speak a language you simply don’t know, makes you look fat… adele’s fat.

    • Julieta says:

      Transtornado de la cabeza. Learn spanish, dude.

      • j says:

        Learn English. Spanish sucks just like Adele’s fat ass in spandex, oh wait that’s attractive right? Let me guess your native tongue is spanish. Hmmmm do I sense a pattern? Lmao

    • JOHN LEE says:

      SHE is not who she says she is, she is created & played by Drew Barrymore the actress , yes that’s right, shocked, i wasn’t , many of these actor/musicians are raking in all the money . Kristen Bell is also Avril Lavinge ,,just look at Dax Shepard & Chad C. from NICKELBACK,,SAME SAME SAME!!!! Dont be fooled. Lady GAGA also played Amy Winehouse, another fraud, they all do it people, WAKE UP!

  2. Nallely vega says:

    Hey u don’t have good taste in music and she is probably more talented and good looking than u r!!!!!!! U r probably transtorndo de la caveza!!!!! And u r a f***** b****!

  3. Laura says:

    hey there, I haven’t had such a good laugh since ages…although I cannot help telling you this…chill out man :)))

  4. Nathaniel says:

    Yes this song sucks but that dosent give you the right to be a fucking douche bag

  5. Jack says:

    “She could be pretty if she loss the weight… she has a pretty face” Two phrases my girl tells me fat chicks hate, hehe… Her music is for women-folk so I just change the station when it’s an option (when I don’t have said women-folk in control of the radio)… I agree that the lyrics of this song don’t make sense.

  6. Dibil says:

    Haha, this was spot on. Love it.

  7. Marsprincess says:

    I absolutely love your writing.i agree 100% with you on the lyrics.thts what i tot when i first heard this song.exactly like what u wrote.i mean seriously.whts so great abt her?and tht rumor has it for like what 10000000000x?come on.puke already

  8. Isla says:

    I’m not keen on Adele’s music either, but you come across as such an arrogant prick in this response. If you take the lyrics too literally, then of course, they will seem pretty nonsensical. You’re really clutching at straws here with the criticism – I am certain that if you read or heard these lyrics whilst under the impression that it was written by a slim women, you wouldn’t have made all the harsh comments about it being some kind of fat-women liberation song sang by a fat woman trying to make herself feel better about being fat.
    What the hell, man. You also manage to be derogatory to Brits in the process.

    I don’t like how commercialised and forced Adele’s persona is either, but seriously, you’re a dick.

    • Well, how else could I take them but literally. I mean, people don’t use metaphors when writing song lyrics Isla, its never happened. So literally is the only way to take them. And if Adele was a slim woman, I wouldn’t have to pay attention to her music at all, due to the wonderful advent of the mute button. But since Adele is supposed to be about substance, I knew she needed to be taken down a peg.

      And derogatory to the Brits? I think my pal George Washington and his actions said more to the Brits than I ever could have.

    • Alex says:

      In fairness to the poster, I heard this song originally before I knew Adele was overweight, and I still thought it sucked big time for the same reasons outlined in this entry.

      Adele’s incompetence as a musician has more to do with the fact that her lyrics are really bad. Like, horrendously bad. And people try to defend them! I really hate when people who like Adele say you have to have love experiences to relate to her music. Couple things on that: 1) I have had many many many experiences with love and heartbreak. I have often sought the console of music to help ease the pain, and have been moved by many lyrics. Even with all of my experiences, not one of Adele songs resonates with me. It’s as if she’s a child who is writing about how she thinks these experiences are supposed to be. Which brings me to my second point, and agreeance with the author of the post, that this song is outlining a story that makes no fucking sense. I also highly doubt that anyone is leaving their smoking hot trophy wife for you Adele. Sorry, just keeping it real.

      The argument that the author is only trying to make this a fat-woman liberation song is wrong. First of all, that’s honestly what it seems like Adele is doing herself here, with some sort of dream like fantasy of her wooing away a man from a physically more attractive woman, with scenarios that are non sensical. Secondly, if there was some wrongfully conceited fat male, singing an awful chorus over and over about how he was more desirable than the male fitness model you were now head over heels for, you would want him to stop.

      In summary, Adele sucks and Props to the original post. Adele, please stop making horrible music and go away.

      • JOHN LEE says:

        DO YOU really think they would make a NOBODY RICH & FAMOUS overnight, especially as fat unattractive woman?? They wouldn’t ., THIS IS DREW BARRYMORE ,,A CHARACTER SHE CREATED !!!! This is not a joke, this is 1000% true, every mole,freckle. hair line. hair style (flowage) , the ears, the nose , lips , every crinkle ,matched DREW perfectly, just some fat suits & makeup & there u have it !! A BORN STAR!!! What a fucking joke!!! Only the 13 bloodlines get these opportunities, not people like us , this is a joke !!!!!! DREW CAN SING THOUGH , I’ll give her that , but why not just be yourself, This is because the ELITE RULERS want you to think there are many famous musicians & actors, etc etc.. but when the truth is, they are all the same people playing like 5-10 other characters that are presented to us as real people.. It’s ridiculous, but this is how it’s done !!!!! LADY GAGA & AMY WINEHOUSE also are the same, Kristen BELL & AVRIL LAVINGE. JENNIFER ANISTON & KRISTEN WIIG, NOAH WILEY & MATHEW MCCOUNAUGHY .. the list goes on & on, JOHN McCain is played by Henry Winkler !! Bob Corker((get it CORK HER)) is Seth Meyers..

  9. Daniel says:

    When you go onto YouTube and you listen to any pre-1980s song there will be a million peoples in the comment-section complaining about how modern-day music is rubbish. They for some reason always use lady gaga as an example… First off, I’m nor particularly a fan of gaga, and yes, she is a Muppet, and yes, she ruins all of her music with computers. But she can sing and she is creative and her songs do make sense in their own freaky universe.

    Where as Adele, the morbidly obese cow with her Primark dress-sense, is left untouched. While her lyrics are completely nonsensical, she can’t play piano for shit (listen and watch any live recording), its all two or three simple chords repeated (and not in an innovative way, eg Nirvana) and when she speaks (I myself like my idols witty and/or outspoken) its just arse water that comes out.

    Two more things; one; why do all current (female) singer-songwriters have to sound so bloody nasal? and two; I had to change my own bloody funeral arrangements (not needed them as so far, but still…) because this overweight monstrosity thought it was ok for her to cover a Dylan-tune.

  10. Xeras says:

    She may be a fuckin horrible songwriter, and maybe a bad singer, and yeah she writes all her songs over one break up…but lay off the fuckin fat jokes, it makes you sound less like someone credible making a reasonable argument over why her music is complete and utter shit and more like an idiot being profane as possible.

  11. Adele sucks says:

    You are right! She sucks, she is a fucking fat bitch! Nothing worse than this song!

    • Amanda says:

      Oh wow… I hate Adele but lay off the fat jokes. My God that’s so harsh! I’m overweight and trying to slim down really hurtful to see ppl still think like this!

      • Jacob says:

        I look at overweight people the same way I look at crackheads. Crackheads are addicted to crack and let their lives and bodies fall apart just to get high, all the time knowing it is happening. Overweight people are addicted to food, and let their lives and bodies fall apart just to eat, all the time knowing it is happening. Both parties crying “Its a disease!”. Whats worse is some of the people standing on my side of the fence agree with you, enabling you to think its not your fault.

        Still, all that said, its not the end of the world. Crack heads recover. Fat people get skinny. Its just a shame you wasted a portion of your life in that state.

  12. Mark says:

    I hate her too! I hate her so much!

  13. Jay says:

    I am so glad someone has the common sense to say adele is a shitty singer. I will not capitalize her name because screw her. I heard her songs before I knew it was her. And I cannot stand this stupid song. Everyone I speak to gives nothing buy praise to adele. It’s always “OMG adele is such a good singer” or “girl can sing”. Well screw that, adele is the worst singer today.

    Thank you for having the balls to post this. I hope your post makes a lot of people mad. Why? Because I am an asshole too, and like shitting on things people like.

    • Mikayla says:

      If you think that this post is “common sense,” you need to get outside and get a life. Adele is beautiful. She is a talented singer, and although her lyrics may seem repetitive, maybe it’s to get a point across. All of her songs are from personal experiences, from heartbreaks to marriage. If she’s so horrible, why is she married and why does she have an adorable child? If she is so horrible, why do people all over the world love Adele? Her voice is rich and I love it. It may not be your genre, but that doesn’t give you a reason to come on here and discourage all of us. All of you don’t understand what she’s gone through. Maybe if you stepped away from your computer, turned on the light, and went outside, you would understand that this world is full of heartbreak and problems that seem like we can’t mend them. Instead of comforting, you stand back and laugh. Laugh at other people’s biggest problems because you are afraid. Afraid this is going to happen to you. Afraid that if you step away from your screen, your life will be filled with everyday problems that the rest of us have. So please, take this into consideration.
      Thanks.

  14. you shithead says:

    you all have your heads ful of shit.
    she is amazing for so many reasons;
    1. she has got presence. she just stands there singin and keep ppl captivated by those vocals while katty perry and lady gaga and rihanna have to dance their asses off in those pinstipes and skirts so short, u can mistake them for belts.
    2. she is one hell of a beauty, check out her cover of vogue. weight shouldnt count. it sounds judgemental.
    3.she is hilarious. just cause u dont get it. maybe u r just dumb.
    4 yeah ppl love her. get over it
    p.s: a finger to u too.

    • Oh, buddy. Please let me respond to your highly thought out response to my incredible blog:

      1) She has a presence alright….being the largest person in the room usually does that. And choosing not to dance, and not being able to dance due to risk of heart failure are two different things.

      2) You want to use a magazine cover to prove someone’s beauty???? Are you retarded??? Magazine covers…the place where people are doctored up by more computers than the Space Shuttle. You are really really stupid, huh?

      3) Fat people normally are hiliarious…see Chris Farley or John Candy. Adele is just fat. And I may be dumb, but I do understand the finer points of capitalization and punctuation. Don’t worry, I’ll give you a minute to look those words up before I continue…. …. ….

      4) People loved Hitler too.

      p.s.

      I’ve got plenty of fingers and since you probably need yours to count, you’d better keep it.

  15. anonymous says:

    Fat ugly sound like shit. Dumbasses stop sucking her cock cause i know the fat bitch has one thanks to her testosterone but get over her. Her shit is the same as the other sing that fucking shitty ass crap that motivates all fucking 10,000 lb women that lives with cats eats ice cream by the buckets so fat that the biggest loser wouldn’t even let them on the show because
    that fatbitcha would come roaring in like Godzilla and eat the host
    and any other shit she could find. Damn if she shut up and goes into reclusion or hiding for all you fat ass Adele loving prices of shit

    • Irish Mafia says:

      That’s right. I agree. An overweight bitch that sounds like Godzilla fucking sandpaper. An if any of you pieces of shit start, lets hope to God we don’t meet in a public area. I’ll. Beat you with adele’s shitty CD until you are as stupid and ugly as she is. No i am not ugly or fat since i am a Ralph Lauren Model.

    • Irish Mafia says:

      Learn to spell. But she does suck.

    • juggalo says:

      Fuck that mooing mooing bitch throw her body in a ditch kill her ass go to bed
      Say oh God where’s the fucking bread.
      Oh wait that fat bitch ate it.

  16. Terran says:

    If you make a (sort of) psychological analysis on the lyrics of this fucktard singer you´ll see that her message is toxic and poisonous. Starting on “she ain´t gonna be able to love you like I do”. First backstab manipulating shitheads use to control their counterparts. “if you dare to go outside, you will fin nothing, so stay with me”. WHO IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK YO UARE TO SAY THAT SOMEONE IS NOT ABLE TO LOVE ME AS YOU DID, FATASS?

    Following, I am FUCKING tired of the constant bombing on women bitching about how their guys treated like scum. Everyday we get tons of subliminal messages saying “we women are victims, we are weak, you men with your masculinity hurt us. Surrender your nature to us”. And after long time of living to that I say “FUCK YOU!!!!! I am a man, I am meant to be a hunter, to provide food to your children, to endure in the winter, to fight wild beasts. That´s what millions of years of evolution made me”. Women are to be treated with respect, NOT TO BE PUT IN A PEDESTAL.

    Got hurt by a douchebag? GET THE FUCK OVER IT AND STOP WHINING. GET A LIFE, DO EXERCISE, MEET NEW PEOPLE INSTEAD OF LIVING IN THE PAST.

  17. You sir are my hero! Thank you for explaining just how nontalented and awful Adele really is, like so many other pop/rock “bands, “singers”, and whatnot. I cant go into a store with a radio without hearing either this shit or something else just as bad or worse. I actually did a short parody of this on my Tracfone, and butchered it to perfection. Songs like this make me want to run outside and kick puppies

  18. dookiedog says:

    Hi. I had an argument over this with an Adele fan last night. She said I should like Adele just because she’s sold more music than EVEN *gasp* Katy Perry and Rihanna. -.- Yeah, do compare her to those shitty artists.. because she is no better. She even had the nerve to say Adele sings way better than Billie Joe from Green Day and that all rock music sounds the same. Fucking idiot.

  19. Thetruthshallsetyoufree says:

    She’s horrible. We coulda had it all…. you took my heart and saul, and you played it, you played it, you played it…. stupid, childish, teenage drab pop shit mainstream sellout music. No meaning, no depth, and totally forgettable.. Totally stupid lyrics, with preteen mentality delivery. Girls and emo queers relate to this because their as ignorant as the lyrics, and that dumbass fist pump, pop beat we here from every female singer alive now. Then girls compare her to rhianna, lada ga ga….etc…. like that gives their shallow depthless lives any more culture… NEWS FLASH….. THEY ALL SUCK…..!!

    Every singer today sings the same pop bullshit with their same stupid dances up on stage… Singing dumbass shit like every girl is a superstar, a rockstar, the night is theirs, set the world on fire, mega uppity overly positive music that has to keep their spirits as high as possible because in between each song they want to kill themsleves, because they actually have nothing in their lives that will ever be like even one lyric from that song they just heard. Living their lives like it’s a coca cola commercial. Nickelodeon style music for girls that act like that idiotic asian bitch off zack and cody. Dumbass children that watch the hunger games, twilight, american idol, and the voice, where everyone sounds exactly alike.

    Girls wonder why theyre so stupid, and this is why… Look at who they follow. You want to hear some real girls that have talent, and think for themselves, and aren’t mindless sheep with ghetto inspired lifestyles then listen to: The Breeders, Whale, Janis Joplin, Hope Sandoval, Mazzy Star…. Peole who are actually artists. Free thinking artists who could give two shits if they ever even make it on the radio… Girls who dont spend their whole life thinking about the fist pump, and 19″ heels, and hair like a weeping willow tree. Girls who dont sellout, and suck lame talentless ass. Girls that actually rock, and can write. Wanna listen to boy bands that arent as equally gay, and overly queer poppy, then listen to: Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Beck, Pavement, Misfits, Blur, Dead Kennedy’s, Pink Floyd, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, Weezer, Toadies, White Stripes, Primus….

    Wake up and realize you have a choice to expand your minds or deteriorate them. Do something with your brain before it turns to oatmeal, and runs out your ears…

  20. Wolfgang says:

    I cannot stop laughing , at last people who feel the same about the shit thats called music today

  21. RONA WEBER says:

    I run to the radio , Pandora or anything station I heard this crap on. I cant stand the voice of Adel or the lyrics. she sounds awful . Brainless singing for stupid people. High school crap to cry over. If a perosn wants to go , help him / her pack. probably a gift. LOL

  22. Chris bennett says:

    Like the music if you wish or don’t like it if you wish whatever

  23. glenn says:

    I get it – she sucks so hard. I only got here because I decided to subscribe to a Sade channel on Pandora and these horrible, poppy, whiny, overwrought and badlly composed songs kept coming on every few songs – as though Adele and Sade are even in the same universe as artists, lol.

    I’ve never really listened to her but have heard of her and know she’s super popular commercially somehow and yes, I’m outraged to. What a crock that such a shallow, talentless little whiner should have a platform and actually be playing on the same channel as a Sade or other great artists. I don’t care that she’s fat – just don’t tell me that I have to think she’s pretty. I do care that her music sucks so hard and that she’s been given an all access pass to monetizing in the music industry. And yes, I’m a singer songwriter and I’m much better than her, so I’m also jealous. But only because she doesn’t deserve any of her fame.

  24. LOOLFUCKNO says:

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

    I

    FUCKING

    LOVE

    THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    NOW DO THE SONG WHERE TALKS ABOUT FUCKING IN THE HAY

  25. TheGordojo says:

    I thought this would make me angry, since I’m a big Adele fan. But I haven’t laugh like this in a while. It’s true the lyric is stupid, I really don’t care much about adele´s lyrics, I’m just in awe of her amazingly beautiful voice, you’ve gotta give that to her man, and she might be fat, but she has the prettiest face in music. I love you sense of humor, dark, sarcastic, insulting, perfect.

  26. bongbong says:

    i agree with this post. all her music is generic crap. i do not understand the appeal at all and i do enjoy some pop music mind you. also amy winehouse died so she could live.

  27. Jo says:

    If her and Sam Smith got together !! Oh my goodness what a disaster, that would be the end of great British Music !!!!

  28. Kris says:

    This is perfectly written! Her lyrics are garbage and I can’t believe anyone would find her remotely talented. All of her songs are moaning over a ex. Get it together and grow up. Just imagine her and Taylor swift writing together. God kill me. Lol

  29. joyce kweyama says:

    Her music does not touch me. She’s supposed to be the best. Unfortunately, she’s not.
    Never has never will.
    Best ever in UK at any time. Their music is played in malls and adored by million

    Not in order
    1 Bee Gees
    2 Beatles
    3 Tom Jones
    4 Joan Armatrading

  30. Jay says:

    I know this post is old, but I had to share…

    This dreadful Rumour Has It song used to play frequently where I work. A co-worker “of size” (fat) used to run in circles smacking her own ass and singing along when it was on. Now I think of this every time I hear the song – which I already hated.

  31. Althea says:

    I decided to google “I hate Adele” this morning and I love that this post is 3 years old and still drawing comments as of yesterday. I do not care that Adele is overweight. I personally think it’s irrelevant. Taylor Swift is thin as a rail and she sucks just as bad. But the point being, I can’t stand Adele’s singing style. It’s just the same ole thing I’ve heard a million times. It’s BORING as hell. I don’t understand why people flip out over something so unoriginal that’s been done over and over again since 1995. I guess, yeah, there are women that relate to her because she is overweight or something. They think this shit is empowering or something. But why? How? I have to admit, because I could never force myself to listen to any of her music, I didn’t know how bad her lyrics sucked as well until I read the verbal diarrhea above and I must say it makes me even more irritated with her fame. (Jay, that comment is gold.)

  32. Althea says:

    “And another thing! “She ain’t gon’,” is not a phrase you’re allowed to say, Adele. You’re a British woman from the suburbs of London, not a legit soul singer from Memphis. Get the fuck over yourself and get your own identity, Aretha Franklin, Etta James, Gladys Knight and the like pretty much own the soul genre. Find your own shit.”

    This

  33. Kelly H. says:

    Ahahahaha – lmao, I was laughing so hard I actually started crying lol. I like Adele, she has an amazing voice (most fat chicks do) but I absolutely hate that particular song, especially the repetitive ‘”Rumour Has It” a billion times – did she run out of rhyming lyrics or just too lazy to think some up for the chorus?

  34. Stu Pid says:

    Spot on, thanks!

  35. Dacheetz says:

    I think the world is too scared to be honest about bad performance due to the fact that no-one wants to be criticized of discrimination. I believe all people should be treated equally. I not going to be scared to say that I cannot stand Adele’s voice in fear of people thinking I dislike her because she is overweight. She could look like Ariana Grande for all I care, and I would still dislike her voice. It is refreshing to see others who aren’t just sheep and follow what everyone else is saying about her being amazing. Plus one to this article, bring her down off the non-deserving pedestal that the brainless masses has put her on. (If the pedestal doesn’t break under her first)

  36. JOHN LEE says:

    SHE IS DREW BARRYMORE ,,JUST A CHARACTER !!!!!! So dont think she made it big because of her voice, she’s in the club & we ain’t !!!

    • Dr. Zac Ariah says:

      Drew is a weird looking woman . What’s up with that chin of hers . I think she us one of those Reptilians that escaped from Area 51 and shape shifted into a bad looking woman .

  37. Nick Wilson says:

    The chorus on this song is like a stuck record. Modern music is just so damn lazy. Lyrics are lame and don’t make any sense. The production is awful and too loud, synthesized and overcompressed. Hooks are just really annoying instead of cool – for instance, those “whooooooa whoa whoa whoa whoooooooa whoa whoa whoa” chorus/hook things by every crappy band trying to sound anthemic. I think Adele gets props because her music isn’t entirely synthesizer gimmicks, but that doesn’t make it any less sh*tty. In fact, the aura of authenticity makes the sh*ttiness even more unforgivable.

  38. YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! I CAN’T STOP CUMMING!

    Seriously tho, #wakeupamerica there’s a reason it’s called Adele’s Sausage in supermarkets now

  39. James says:

    I love this as much as I hate Adele.

  40. Lewis says:

    Great to someone standing up against mainstream crap like this. Fake bitch, Fake whining song. Love to see you take the monodrag self-pitying”Hello” to its lowest limits. The critics rave over this unimaginative dirge. Check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enu-qR0H_uk for a laugh.
    Richard Attenbourgh narrates the intro.

  41. Sandar says:

    I hate to read constant “lol” but this made me LAUGH OUT LOUD! I think I’m the ONLY woman in my circle of friends that doesn’t think Adele is the reigning queen…of what…something. ..?! I recently said to them, “I’m sorry but I don’t like Adele”…you would have thought I said “you all suck” by the glares I got! Sorry, but I know good music and a voice when I hear it…this isn’t it!! I couldn’t care less about her looks, weight, etc. SHE CAN’T SING. But only my opinion, and who really gives a rat’s derriere. ..

  42. tu says:

    HIGH-LARIOUS! I don’t want to hate on Adele, and I hope that I am not hatin’ on her success, but glad to find fellow travelers here annoyed by all that claptrap.

  43. gettin fed up says:

    I went to YouTube to listen to Adele before I lumped her in with the rest of the “no talent” shit that the mainstream popularizes. The song was “When We Were Young”. I love music, from Linda Ronstadt to Men At Work to Avenge Sevenfold, so I wanted to check her out. I mean, she is It.. right? Her screeching ran me off before I could listen to the second verse. Whatever the mainstream is comprised of, that has glorified this singer(?), songwriter(?), has proved yet again that the “dumbing down of the human race” plan is Right on Track. Ex: whip and nee nee? What the fck is that stupid shit?

  44. gettin fed up says:

    So.. I was scanning through the comments, and saw some overweight person whining about the fat jokes.. as they applied to Adele. I am 46, and when I was in school… out of a class of say.. 200 students… there were on average, maybe 10 fat people. So, 5%. Are they putting something in baby food now? I say baby food, because I eat what Is out there, and don’t become obese. Hate to sound conspiracy-theorish, but America has to be up to like 20% of population is overweight. Is it because fat people are easier to corral and control when “The Shit” goes down?

  45. Anon says:

    I totally agree.! Shes targeting the rest of the pathitic woman. There is obviously alot of them….

  46. SouthernHon says:

    Damn straight. I found this while searching “Adele sucks.” Her voice is terrible (maybe she needs to give up the smokes), her phrasing is terrible and the songs are completely boring. I don’t get the fans.

  47. Tyler says:

    Funny shit. She really is quite a big attention seeker. One up +

  48. Rawkn says:

    Not only do many of her songs suck, and not only did she spend years going on about one single man, in every stupid song, but what I hate most is her screaming, screeching, bellowing voice that makes my eyes water, ears feel like they will bleed, and my head is about to explode. People say her voice is beautiful? Is the new beautiful, a sickly, suffering, dying animal? Either SING a song, or do something rap or death metal. Stop trying so scream a song that he softer music.

  49. Faith says:

    I concur with your opinions. I hate Adèle, and her newest single “Hello” drives me insane! Why can we not idolize ACTUAL artists, like Fleetwood Mac, Duran Duran and the Bee Gees?! We are too ignorant and we should open our ears-see the light, that modern music is manure! (Animal poop)
    How can people even tolerate Adèle?

  50. jennifer says:

    Thats awesome, I felt that she was incessantly whining myself since the first time I heard her. She is still whining. So annoying, thanks for speaking the truth about her pathetic, jealous, psycho fat ass dike bitch self. I say dike because she seems pretty fn obsessed with that guy’s new girlfriend.

  51. Ella Arnold says:

    This is for you, Left Hook From Right Field. I liked your website….. until this. If she’s a fat bitch and she cant sing, why is her ’25’ concert sold out? Why did her #1 hit “Hello” break world records? Have you done that? Didn’t think so. Don’t judge with out actually TRYING what she’s tried. And can I bring it to your attention that she lost weight? That’s more than you’ve done. I bet all you do is sit around on your ass and play world of warcraft or what ever you nerds do. SHE HAS A HUSBAND AND A CHILD AND A GIANT FANBASE. You take on one of us, you take on all of us. And believe me, you don’t wanna do that. Adele has encouraged girls from all over the world. If you don’t like it, you don’t need to pick apart every single lyric of hers to prove your point. Say you dont like it and move on with your boring life. I hate you. GET YOUR FAT ASS IN THE WORLD AND STOP SUCKING YOUR DICK, NOBODY’S FEELING SORRY FOR YOU.

    • Tristan says:

      That’s not the point you moron, the reason why people hate her (including me) because the way she sings is just downright terrible, her pop ballads are shit, her phrasing is shit, her lyrics are shit, her voice is shit, everything about Adele is shit, the only reason why you stupid Adele fantards think she is “amazing” and “relatable” is because she doesn’t sing about sex or drugs, but her songs are just as shit as those other songs from other crappy artists these days, and please record breaking sales have nothing to do with musical talent, because “Hello” is just as mediocre as her other songs, you literally think she is the Second Coming of Christ because of that, and it is just as mindless as playing World of Warcraft all day.

  52. Torie the Wolf says:

    I agree to this and it made me laugh go job

  53. JD says:

    My girlfriend and I tend to have the same tastes in music; close enough at least so we rarely (if ever) get on each others nerves with our individual likes. –That is until recently I had the misfortune of spending the better part of an hour or more in *her* car, whereupon I was ‘treated’ (held hostage) to hearing something really, really godawful. I still get queasy when I recall that husky feminine voice hollering: “Rumor has it, rumor has it, rumor has it” -etc etc for what felt like a fucking eternity. At the time I had no idea who that hideous voice belonged to, but it took *everything* for me to be cool and not act like a dick in my girlfriend’s car, especially since I could tell that she inexplicably was enjoying it. Nonetheless, when we finally arrived at our destination, I was actually opening the door before the car had come to a full stop. That’s how bad it was.
    Since then, even though my girlfriend is cool enough not to torture me further in this way, I now know all-too-well about the porcine, vastly overrated ‘singer’ known as “Adele.”
    Her popularity is mystifying, at best.

  54. Mussolini Duce says:

    Thaaank you, this is the best thing I’ve read in months. I too hate this effing song.

  55. Marmite says:

    Adele doesn’t speak with a British accent, there is no such thing given that we are made up of four Nations and hundreds of regions. She speaks with a horrible shrieking cockney accent – London area.

    Other than that, yeah, overrated and death inducing songs and singing.

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